im in search of this SJC bear here. anyone whos willing to sell it please let me know. price's negotiable. i wan it so fcukn badly. badly. badly. badly. badly.

okay waddafcuk. what can be worse than having a cursed day. its Eugene's bookout and i entirely screwed it up; and so, i'll brand it the fcukn embarrassing moment tis year.

Eugene and i was queueing for our steamboat session (luckily, dere was just the both of us) it was such an extend'd queue dat made us wait fo 15mins before dat damned moment arise.
Suddenly, i was feeling nausea and heavy, my vision was blurred. it took me quite some time to hear Eugene calling on me, asking me to wake up, askin if im alright. and i realised, i was setting on the ground widout much energy left, da world seems to be spinning around me, my temperature's freezing, i couldnt even speak. okay, that was when i realised; i fainted.
fcuk it. everyone was obviously staring straight at us. Eugene said 'get up get up, sit down. you're now the central of attraction.' i forced all strengths in me and finally sat on a chair. well, at least this uncle working there was kind enough to get me a glass of warm water and ointments. and some assholes, they're happily laughing at me fainting, and enjoying their feast (one day, their gonna faint without anyone knowing and just die tragically, i affirm.) i decided to make my way bac for a rest, thus, cabby bac home; without steamboating! ahhh, wasted trip down, wasted enthusiasm.

shit. im guilty. darling has been anticipating fo a steamboat session and i had it screwed by fainting. and so, not to ruin the long awaited saturday, i insist that we continue wid our movie since reservation of the ticket's done, Step Up. it was nice though. dancers were al fantastic.

Sorry baby; i must have scared the hell out of you :)

and yes, darling imitated me fainting, fcukn hell. he's filled wid hell mockiness. and he said, 'It was Hilarious!'DARN!

who could compile uncertainties as much as she do. as she sets her feet on the winded streets, da world seems to be hanging up. she holds this certain fetish fo the blinding lights; and its seems lik the rain's falling everyday. she thought; heaven's so unkind, so preposterous. nothin's stealing her time away, shes clinging onto the plebeians, so almost everyday. she wakes up knowing its a brand new day which inturn will become an estranged one.

so, she wanna sleep forever. under his skin that feels like home.

she've got evrythin she ever seek'd fo in life, and so; whats the missing piece in her?

lets turn chaos into life.

something about you, gonna hold on to that.

yo're too absolute to be true.

da endless patience provi'd'd is scar'n me.
how faultless dis love yo're compilin' into.

he's a flawless gift frm up above,
enforc'n evry single bit he could to plant a smile on her.

bt,
she nver realis'd how much shes loved.
she nvr did;
she didnt learn to cherish,
not even to compromise.

she misses him so much, so much dat she cld eat up a whole piece of him.

i realised how much effort you've exert'd in trying to make all in all unfathomable.
and i know, i havent done enough.

stil, remember i love you.

jolin, jossy, kevin

SUN 31.10.06

mugg mugg and more mugg'n.
in particular; tis freelance tutor doesn' charge and answers my questions in details. bt, i hate her fo flaunt'n her fone nw and thn. :( and i infinitely hate her fo chuckl'n over my grammatical mistakes and ignorancy of words. simply, gen's supercilious; a boastful hippopo. :D her language literacy's fii-lii-faa-lehh.. com'n to think of it. gen, i don gif a shit. bahahhaaaa.

anw, thanks gen.

truckloads.

MON 01.11.06

what now, mass media research (mmr) paper todae. and i swear, i've got a bad handwrit'n day, my alphabets are float'n in da midd of nowhere, hang'n here n dere. i cld haf jus scribbl'd some hangmans down. and shit, my wrist's veins are burst'n fo nuts. fine, i dont kno how well i perform'd fo tis paper, i'll allow results to say it all. alright, jolin and i plann'd to travel dwn to simlim to get her brother's birfdae present, a mp3 player. it was pour'n cats and dogs. we were stuck'd in sch and so, decid'd to travel via da shutterbus.

jl dn ask'd " where you going?"

jossy, "tk shutterbus to mrt station"

jl "ya la. go where la!"

jossy "simlim wid jolin"

(jolin's face expression was lik .. waddafcuk. shit. dont tel me shes tagg'n along. tis scuks.)

jl "okay, i go home alrdy. bye"

to my astonishment, whilst i was in da shutterbus. i turn'd and realis'd poor jl weep'n in da rain. da environment and everythn tallys; evrythn goes wel tgt. i affirm, da scene was superb; totally heart ranch'n. a helpless girl weep'n in da pour'n rain widout an umbrella. tis is shit, i was alittle guilty, undoubtedly.

jossy turn'd to jolin and debbie "aye look. shes crying!"

debbie, "huh, really meh?"

jolin turn'd to double confirm "(laugh'n) aye. yaya! she crying!! i saw! i saw!"

haaa. tis is screw'd entirely. bt well, deres limitations to wad i can do abt it anewae. kevin joined us anewae. and oh yes, did i mention, dur'n dinner, we saw da 'lost army' in superband?

Digressing,

i reckon, im gettn so mentally unsound these days. whimper'n uncontrollably, for nuts. it seems so hard to avoid trigger'n tear ducts. imma so uncertain abt why im feel'n dis wae. tis acrid feel'n insida me is fool'n my emotions around lik a child's play. a child's play game dat i can nvr seem to acquire a getaway.

a game wid no fun.

a game lead'n to others think'n her words are noth'n but a bunch of tomfool jokes.

tis everlast'n game played.

subsides when, shes gone.

whats fcuk-d'up and evryth'n alright?

wads da hesitation to an appointed destination, tis leaves her clueless.

i assume, tomorro's gona be a pleasant dae, since he'll be out den.

i hope. and i want it to be.

cus,

i know;

it will be sunshine after the rain.

wid him.

can you feel me.