okay, what now. i haf a tremendous difficile time figur'n out tis damn cubic thingie. it truly squander'd my time away for study'n. bt yet, i chose to be kept drown'n wid it, instead of books. tis damn thang made me feel stuppid and stuppid. lik, waddashit. star'n at it my half life away, widout a clue in my head.
and books make me hungry; compos'd me into some sweet gluttons. i chok'd up da entire packet of sweets dat baby bought in a dae. fcuktard; i thought dey cld last me fo da week. its okay, im cool. dey're da sweets o love; o emblem. saccharine's make up da sweetest kingdom, lik no other.
i cant wait fo fridae; for me to lay muh visuals on him agn.
he, who makes me feel everlast'n long'n love.
he came along whn she wasn't look'n fo love;
he stood al alone whn he meant nth to her.
she thought he was all nothin bt an aquaintance;
an aquaintance dat cn be easily forgotten,
a person superfluous.
karma dn intertwin'd;
presently, brand'd companion of hers.
ever so sweet
how depress'n and deject'd. imma feel'n so impair'd dur'n da past days. hw i wish sumone cld jus stab me frm da bac widout mercy, and so; i wldnt haf to kno who kill'd and die away -jus lik tat. suicidal temptations overrid'n widout anyone kno'n cn be a killer. bt nw, i reckon, grey clouds has somehow fad'd, fo long i hope. hw fcuktard, nightmares has officially attack'd me. i loathe 'em. so very much.
shes lik a nvr grow up child who obligates abundant attention from anyone, be it a he or she. tis goes fo evryone, who doesnt seek attention? she cld easily set an answer for tis question; noone. whn loneliness becomes your bestfriend; bestmate, it agitates da brains and leads to whimpering and driftness of a person's mindset, to da past and present. it jus makes u wana seek for refuge n a shelter, simply; a place to feel safe, a place to shower ourselves wid security and congeniality.
she distinguishingly devoir his attention onto her; shes mak'n it somehow, essential.
cld tis be twist'd?
i disgust tis. whn a person tries act'n emo and depress'n. tell'n me 'aye, tk pic lehs. i act emo.' waddashit. tis makes me realise someth'n, evryone cld jus get mentally unsound at times, widout da sky hav'n to fall; ground need'n to crack. 
sundae 29.10.06
venue: vivo
went vivo cus we'v gt no slightest idea of whr to head to, singapore's stale to da extreme. swensens fo lunch n bac to baby's place for diner. well, it doesn' mattr whr our presence are, bcus, his presence counts da most. wid him ard; evrywhr's heaven wid roam'n cloud nine.
saturdae 29.10.06
venue: town.
slack'd ard. da impulse crav'n fo drink'n is bac and so, went drink'n wid Eugene and his colleagues at da usual place. retard'dly, he gt drunk. puk'd lik a puk'n machine, hw i wish i cld haf jus shot him right into his head n so, he cld stop flow'n and shuddafcukup. bahaaa. whn he gt wast'd, it was abt time imma seein' stars, thus; he was left to die and walk. :D
okay nw, distinguish between picture 1 and 2. one wid and one wifout accompany. both pics tkn vary'n saturdae and sunday. aww, now we kno, nowhr's as comfortable as compar'd to da hard shell'd grounds.. nt even beds; or a bed of flowers. wahaaaaaa.
shes seeing no realities animore.
life seems utterly monotonous and stale,
pinn'ns and anticipations r dissipat'n; shes watch'n none of 'em.
da breezes felt so hard hitt'n against her cheek,
her temperature's freez'n.
shes made into an ice queen.
da corridors empty; empty lanes fill'd wif desolateness.
blind'n lights r lead'n nowhere;
except fo emotion confusions.
evryone crashes; some get bac on. some dont, some cant.
detached.
shes seperat'd.
frm evryone; evrythn.
bt why?
liv'n tis crazy life wld make a grl demand'n.
bt evry single day it seems lik things jus stay d same.
bt chng is for the worse jus seems lik my life's a curse.
bt whose to blame your infortations to forgive multipule bodies felt like rape.
an enchantment; a fatal seduction.
yet,
i wana tk myself out; whn i think of you.
imma duper occupi'd since darlg's bk'out on fridae. was overwhirl'd wif al da liveliness. i've clung'd onto smiles for far too long, bt. who wldn't want more? hw i wish biological turns wil come to an end. how i wish.. i wishFRI 20.10.06
went hk cafe. army's fugg'd. next, headed to happy daze wid
darlg n his friends for some drinks til late.
SAT 21.10.06
town for shoppn. met up wif tiancher. and darlg bought me a piece of junk fd. wahaa. YAYy!next, head'd to plasma for
drinks wif darlg n his friens n so, i met up wif freddie awhile ltr. a duper
goodie brother whom i hvn't met for lik donkey months. went for a drink at
roomful blues, a nice place wif fantastic liveband. ltr, went bac to plasma;
darlg's rush'n. hahaaa. last bt nt least, supper supper supper!!
SUN 22.10.06
baby's bk'in. went nowhere except for diner wif his famm. i haven' had enuff slp. anw, he'll
be out da nex dae. :)
MON 23.10.06
darlg's out agn. wahaa. went geylang serai. i simply lOve dat
place soo much; i mean, da food so much. wahaaa. ramlys, fish crackers, ice
creams, chick'n wings, coconut juice.. yumm yumm. my tummy's fcuk'n blast'd. so sinful, bt sooo happy. maahaa.
TUES 24.10.06
had tutor'n, so darlng accompan'd me dere. and waddafcuk, kids r gettn smarter i swear. gif'n questions to da tutor instead of da other way rd. wahaa. n for christ's sake. carelessness threw my face way out. i got da wrong ans for 120 x 130 and im askd to do corrections! shitdamnn. and
jennifer askd 'do you haf a mother?'
jos, ' wat? mother?! of cus! shes at home. why?'
jennifer, 'okay, bring your corrections home and show ur mommy.'
jos, 'err.. okay. now, err. do your maths question (smiling)'
digress'n, swensens for lunch
and dinner wif his
famm. lastly, sweet goodbye baby. its book'in time
agn! awww. yea, anw, jennifer's muh student. :)
i'll walk right up to yoor door. Jossy's a happy girl. she'v all she has eva ask'd for.
whn da world's fast asleep, she sets her feet into the moment of weakness.
each one is different; but they're always the same.
seclusiveness.
why is emptiness her companion when da sun kisses da sea?
he made the world a summer day.
or is he just a dream to fade away?
he'll be bac home tomorrow, heaven has been away too long. she ink'd his name in da every corners of her mind. he got her a highway to the sky they can turn away the night; and the day.
stil, she adores the synchronicity shar'd btween 'em.
imma goddamn tired, i swear. how unbelivable; i manag'd to subsist wif jus two hours of sleep. fine now, im just feel'n dis proud of myself. finally, deres smth for me honor. its moronic. bt, as da say'n goes -someth'n is better thn noth'n. :)
tutor'n todae. went vivo; met up wif tiancher and wait'd fo rongna to get off her virgo. satisfactory's da word, im soooo snappy and content'd dat i manag'd to inflict bruises on tiancher for being a big bully! *how smug :D next, met up wif debbie, yingg and pikaa. silly and moforic pictures r tak'n. vivo soothes at night, i gotta admit. mahaaa. anw, am too drain'd to detail muh doings for todae, and so; i shall allow pictures to do da sayings.
bought chocolates fo Eugene and he was told.
he claim'd dat i kno nuts abt surprises.
alright, i'll take my words bac.
i bought you noth'n.
okay now,
how silly.
anthon berg chocolates for darlg; i hope he likes 'em.
(to prevent stealage of chocs, i've decid'd to do smth retard'd; leave a note on da chocs before settl'n 'em in da refrigerator. probably its time to put in good use to what ive learnt in skool. public relations; i shall set up an anti-chocolate steal'n campaign)
she hates herself fo envy'n others for their superficial aspects. she knows where she stands among da crowd. she doesnt wana put on pretty clothes to cover up her flaws. she doesnt wana wear a fake smile, parad'n on da streets. she wants herself bac, impossibly.
judgements and criticisms attacks, she wants none of dese nomore. it wld haf bn a front if she said she cldnt be less bother'd.
fcuk this. her life's screw'd entirely.
prob, she shldnt even step out.
she ought to be kept indoors.
nobody's perfect; bt shes just to imperfect to be true.
who doesnt want to look dainty and delicate?
i should not have been alive today.
shes fac'n smth new evrydae.
is he slipp'n away?
hw hard she tried nt to wonder why.
shes moodless fo anithin.
mourn'n over nothin.
haphazar'd emotions strangles and kills.
her life don seem to mean a thang.
shes loathes da frequent rides on an emotional rollercoaster swift'n beneath and up above.
who pledges their life to love and get trigger'd tear ducts hav'n to compromise wif restrictions?
shes in bits and pieces; shes feel'n crippl'd. bt why?
is she not strong enough?
did you see our work of art?
did you.
or,
havent you.
sch. town wif debb, tiancher and jl. it was entertain'n, bt wel, it wld haf bn so much bttr wifout jl's existence. haahh. da out'n was meant to be perfect. okay, always expect da unexpect'd. alrite, tiancher got his berms n i can finally survive un'disturbd by him. debb n i was in search of clothes to purchase n of cus, we found tons! bt, money mattrs. hahaaaa. as for jl, i dont know, liv'n in a world of her own; and so are we. =D debb's dad brought us fo late diner! punggol nasi lemak! thank her dadd, uncle francis. bababa!!
WHOOHAAS OF DA DAY (featur'n ms wjl)
- her face turn'd charcoal da min we reach'd town. she want'd to visit far east in search of black heels and so we follow'd. we walk'd aimlessly resembl'n some kinda wander'n souls. her face color worsen'd.
- after lunch. venue, da ladies. debb and i are done. she was puk'n in da cubicle. i shout'd fo her, no replies recv'd. debb n i realis'd dat she dirtied da basin wif her vomits and all. great, whn she was out. i askd 'wht hppn to u? why you vomit?' reply i got was .. 'why i cannot vomit' (monotoniously). i shld haf said 'pls clear up da basin, u dirtied it wif your vomit. its gross. pls be hygenic, do all ladies a little favor'. damnn her!
- as usual, da pace of her walk'n is so fcukn slow dat al of us haf to compromise. she's lik, send'n da dead off? on deir last journey.
- debb told her dad dat we're join'n him fo dinner, exclud'n jl. and so, i told her 'im join'n deb's dad fo dinner. once agn, unexpect'd ans from her - 'so where am i suppose to go?' and so, she tagg'd along.
- in da car, she cried. show'd me a msg saying 'u al dont want me to go right'. reply frm me, as usual .. ' NO LA. SIAO!' i seriously felt lik kick'n a punch in my heart for lying.
- after dinner, deb's dad offer'd to send me bac. she gave me another surprise! 'jos, i wana go heartland mall, go wif me'. damnn.
- venue: heartland. jl, 'lets go hk cafe. i hungry'. jos: 'dn why didn u eat earlier whn deb's dad brought us to dinner?' jl: 'i dunwan, or i go buy prata' jos: 'what!!! did i hear you say u wanna buy prata? so am i suppose to go wif you? no way. im gg home. im wait'n for eug's call' jl: 'whatever.'
- jl: just now debb's dad say that all of you are stress because i tagg'd along right.' jos: ' r you mad? he said he was stress fo da whole day dur'n work! retard'
lastly, she want'd to send me out to my doorstep. she was reject'd. she cried and lk'd depress'd. bt jossy cant be bother'd. and yes. goodnight jl.
im soo happy. hogg'd onto da line wif darlg fo 30mins, ten minutes includ'd was an extra. i complain'd dat i hate it whn i gotta wait 22hrs fo a 2omins session of call. therefore, baby seek'd permission frm whoever fo more time to talk to me! bahahahhaa!! i love Eugene! :) so much!
HEART YOU BABY; TRUCKLOADS*
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